"You don't plan moments; they just occur."
This line probably describes what I'm feeling right now about my 'practice.' I will call it 'practice' because training, as they say, is when you really know what you are doing, and most of the time, I thought I know what I'm doing but then I really do not know what I'm doing. My practices are like punches in the dark, hoping that one of them will hit what I wanted to hit.
Last Wednesday, Mark and I ran the San Narciso Church - Badwater SM route. And, just 1km into the run, Mark and I were already in a disagreement. And, so he left me alone on my own for the rest of the run. It was, in a way, good because I got to run without much pressure of going fast while he was able to run fast on his pace.
So my thoughts were:
* Screw speed work, enjoy 'my' running. Funny how every after an organized race, I would always find myself working on my speed, like planning out my practice sched with emphasize on speed work. But, then in the middle of it, I always find myself getting anxious of seeing no results, and hating every thing, and that's when I'd find telling myself to to screw whatever speed work plans I have, and just go with the flow.
* Despite having the time and resources, it's just not going to be easier on me. Being inactive for my 30 years, no sports or any thing, it simply means nothing's going to be easy. Duh!
But it doesn't mean it's no longer fun. As they say, if you won't enjoy the journey, then there's no reason you will enjoy the destination.
* Always go for broke. At the Columbia Trail Run, being one of the people at the back pack, I met some of the participants on the way going home. They would usually said well-wishes or the usual "Dool na lang." comment to cheer me up. And, to lighten up, I would usually replied in serious tone "Maka top 10 pa ko?" Some would be taken aback, and some would get back with jokes. Sometimes, I would encourage the others who already looked so beat up to run with me so we can finish top 10.
I's having fun observing the different reactions of the people when I'd tell them about going for top 10. Some would have a look that's saying, "Are you on drugs, Miss?" But some would get the joke, and would reply back with a joke like, "Number 11 na ka, Miss," or "Mga 9.5 pa ka."
Though, I'm no medal-worthy from other's point of view, it doesn't mean I should feel the same way too. I deserve the best happy thoughts from myself. So in practice days and race days, when I feel I'm no longer moving, I just have to tell myself that I deserve the best training I could give me -- top 10 or throw myself on the ground. =)
laray, consolacion, cebu
So yeah, I will soon meet my moment. And for that to happen, I have to keep throwing punches in the dark or light!